His, Mine and Ours

With all the big changes coming in our lives we've been having alot more heart-to-heart talks.  We've always been open with each other about what we want and expect but I'm a visual learner and writing things down really helps me to burn them into my brain and Dan is the type that needs to be able to refer back to something physical.

His list, mine and ours
(personalized notes courtesy of Cade)

On our walk this morning we were discussing what is and isn't important, what's worth stressing over and what's not? And while we had some disagreements the core was pretty much the same.  Throughout our relationship we've realized we both put the other first and our own needs second.  While this is a wonderful way to live, only resentment will grow from not fulfilling your own goals for the sake of the other person and we're both very aware that if you can't be happy with yourself you'll never be happy with someone else.  So we decided the best way to be each others cheerleader is to know what the other wants and to work as a team to get there.

I got the idea from my personal guru Jenna during my wedding planning when I was getting overwhelmed beyond belief.  She told me to make a list of the top 10 things that are most important.  If something is stressing me out and it's not on that list, let it go.

With that in mind we made a plan that we'd go home, make some tea, sit on the balcony and make a list of 10 things we each want to accomplish in our lives for ourselves.  We did this in silence and when we were done we exchanged, discussed, got teary eyed, laughed and then went and wrote 10 things we want to accomplish as a couple.  We were both surprised in the end how hard it was to think of 10 things you REALLY want.  Like I can list 10 things I'd definitely want right now (a six figure income, years worth of PTO, a vitamix, carrie bradshaw's shoe closet,...) but we went into this with the mindset that we are 100 years old, on our deathbed looking back. What are we proud of? What do we regret? Our personal lists had a few common points so we fine-tuned them and put them on the joint list along with things neither one of us really realized were so important.

The plan now is to try our hardest to keep our goals in mind and to let the little things just be little things.  I put the lists up and if one of us is ever down the other will be there with the friendly reminder that if it's not on the list, it's not worth worrying about.

Today's drink selection was our wedding tea from pottery barn brewed with some extra rose & honey.

Sunday Traditions: Pancakes and Bacon

Every Sunday I make breakfast and though I should be doing breakfast everyday I'm not a huge fan of breakfast foods.  I was the one in my family who was ordering hamburgers and spaghetti at Dennys while everyone was enjoying their Grand Slams.  But I married a breakfast lover so over the last 10 months I've been forced to embrace breakfast foods and slowly but surely I'm getting the hang of it.  I made my first normal pretty pancake today.  Usually they come out too thick or all wonky shaped but today they were small and light brown and fluffy and perfect.  They were also cooked along side bacon stuffed pancakes that Pinterest has blessed us with.  And so on now to the recipe portion of today's show:

Cook 6 pieces of bacon, set on paper towels to drain

Pancake recipe:
1 cup of flour
2 tbs. almond flour
3/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. sugar
1 egg
3/4 c. almond milk
1 tsp. baking spice
1 tsp. vanilla extract

sift together dry ingredients then mix in wet.

On a griddle or in a pan on medium-high pour a little bit of batter the length of your bacon to act as glue, otherwise you'll be able to see your bacon through the other side of the pancake.  Lay your bacon down and cover with 1/4 c. batter.  Allow to cook for 2-3 minutes until air bubbles form then flip and let cook for another 2-3 mins.

I made 4 pancakes with bacon in them and 4 without with some bacon just on the side.  DB was pleased.

Frankenstein pancake, make sure to put some batter before the bacon :)

2 Week Progress Report

So it has been 2 weeks since I've started my Project 26 health & fitness campaign and the results are in:

Total Loss: 6 lbs. and 4 in.

Not bad for 2 weeks.  I'm hoping that by my birthday, June 10th I will be at my ideal size and will have gotten there in a way that is both healthy, safe and sustainable because there's no real point in crazy fads and crash diets when you can't keep up once the craziness is over, trust me.  

What did I do?

MORE WATER

I almost never drank water, I'm one of those weird people that pretty much never gets thirsty and I've blamed that on the fact that my diet has always consisted of alot of raw fruits and veggies but I've been making sure to try and get in AT LEAST 1.5L which is just easier for me because Crystal Geyser and Trader Joe's have them and they aren't overly ginormous.

MORE WEIGHTS, LESS CARDIO

For my wedding I was a cardio freak, 2 hours a day, 5 days a week and while I did drop the weight my body just kinda looked like a smaller version of how it started.  No definition just, what has now been dubbed "skinny fat".  So I've toned cardio down to a sweat-worthy 20 minutes and done more strength training and focusing on one or two muscle groups a day to really get the burn and I'm happy to say I see my butt shaping up and my waist cutting in.  I lose weight in my neck first, weird.  

CHEAT DAY

Every Thursday I eat whatever I want and don't make myself feel bad about it.  If there's something I'm craving on Monday I just tell myself I can have as much as I want on Thursday and when it comes down to it my body feels so good when it does come time to cheat it's never anything huge like I'll have a slice of pizza from Costco and a Soy hazelnut macchiato from Starbucks and feel like a badass.  

HABIT CHANGES

I eat when I'm bored, sad, happy, pretty much whenever I'm breathing I'm trying to eat so I've had to make myself become very aware of what my body feels like when I'm hungry.  I used to always keep snacks in my car because I have downtime in between cases and I would mindlessly destroy a family size bag of whatever so now my snacks are all pre-packaged.  When I have downtime now I read instead of sitting with my phone looking at pictures of what other people are eating (getting alot of reading in these days).  I keep gym clothes in my car for impromptu trips, I make veggie protein shakes for breakfast with a half scoop and almond milk as opposed to not eating breakfast at all.  We don't own a scale so I weigh-in at the gym only on Fridays which allows me to see the bigger picture as opposed to the day by day or in my case meal by meal weigh-ins that would fluctuate and discourage me.  When I do watch TV with DB I have my yoga mat out and am either stretching or planking or doing sit-ups.  

My mind's been clearer, clothes look better and am just overall happy to be doing something to better myself instead my usual routine of just making a pinterest board full of bodies that look nothing like mine, quotes that over-motivate me to the point where I've convinced myself I don't even need to workout or just sit back and play the "I'm already married, who am I trying to impress" *looks at ring and smiles as hand goes into a bag of chips*

Do it for you.

Sotd: you're a wolf

SONG OF THE DAY

This song came on yesterday while I was at the coffee shop reading and I had to just put my book down and lean back and listen because I love it so much.  Dan and I went and saw him play in the city while we were dating and it was fall and the venue was so tiny and everything was perfect.

Taco salad "I'm sorry I abandoned you" bowl

I left Danny boy for a few days to go back home and didn't bother to make him any meals to heat up while I was gone so to make up for him having to eat poptarts and chips for nearly a week I made him a dinner with actual meat in it which is pretty rare around here.  Poor guy is vegetarian by default, reminds me of this scene from Pulp Fiction.  Anyway. I wanted a salad so I figure taco salad with carne asada was a nice middle ground.

And so it begins...
To make the bowls I took a plate and filled it with water and about 1tbs. of oil and swished it around, ran the tortilla through it and let it drain until no more water or oil came dripping off.

I used my smallest corningware bowl, sprayed it was olive oil then stuck the tortilla in.  It breaks when you bend it which is perfect for reinforcing the sides but be careful of the bottom (flour tortillas are much easier).

I put it in a preheated oven at 450 degrees until it was a little crispy then I took it out and flipped it over to make sure the bottom got done. one tortilla took a little less than 10 minutes, I just did it while I was prepping salsas.

Meanwhile....

For the corn salsa: I shucked 2 ears of fresh white corn, 1/2 fresh jalapeno, 4 diced radishes, 1/4 finely diced onion, juice of 1 lime and some salt.

For the pico de gallo: I diced 3 roma tomatoes, 1/2 fresh jalapeno, 1/2 diced onion, salt, juice of 1/2 lemon, handful of diced cilantro

Carne Marinade:  I marinated the meat for about an hour before hand with juice of 1/2 lime, 1/4 cup of juice from pickled jalapenos, salt, garlic, sliced onions, cilantro, cumin and chili powder.

Rawwwwwwwww

While the meat was cooking I made some pinto beans cooked with a little slice of salt pork (or bacon), onions, garlic and 1/2tsp of chicken bouillon 

His

Hers

He ate. I was forgiven. And then he ate again.

2 steps forward + 1 step back = 3 steps in the right direction

I went home for a few days to stay with my sister while my parents were on vacation and the whole time leading up to the trip I was not looking forward to it. I had become so comfortable with the anonymity of my new Southern California life and I wasn't ready to run into familiar faces and play catch-up because I felt.... embarrassed? I'm not sure if embarrassed is the right word but let's go with it. The problem was I didn't know what I was embarrassed of. The feeling grew into anxiety which only grew stronger the longer I was in the area. I tried to do all of the things I used to do when I was home and would get anxious or overwhelmed but none of my old tricks worked and I realized alot has changed since I'd last needed a place to help me cope. I was home without Dan and although its the longest we've been apart since we got married I knew it wasn't separation anxiety, it was a fear of the future and of failure that I felt. So after trying to find mental sanctuary I ended up at Mishka's Cafe for a night cup of coffee and as I'm sitting there I'm tracking back my feelings to the source. Dan graduates in June and so our plan from the beginning has been to move back home afterwards. This was never an issue because we want to be as close as possible to our loved ones, what began to wear on me was that the only people I've seen who leave home and come back do it because their plan didn't work out and I've been programmed to think that if you leave your parents home and come back, it's because you failed at something. I've realized however that our situation was just the opposite. We left home with the goal of Dan finishing grad school and me supporting him, mission accomplished! Our next goal is to find jobs back at home and to start really building up our savings and the best way to do that is to live at home rent free. It's sometimes hard to accept that what you're doing is the "right thing" when 1. your peers are doing the something different. And 2. You haven't seen anyone do what you're about to do, and that's where your faith and conviction have to really come in. When you know what you're doing is the right thing to do for your future then you go for it full on with your head high and no doubts, regrets or second guesses. Obviously an apartment is an option we'll consider if living with our family doesn't work out as harmoniously as it is in our heads but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it and having been away from the people we love most for so long has been harder than we ever thought it would be. As for now I'm enjoying the new found peace I have within myself. We went from point A to point B and now to point C, which just happens to be in the same geographical location as where point A was.

There's a church by my house that puts out their little signs and they are always so on point, this was the one I came home to and it was perfect.

He did it again!

My love for food goes deeper than my fridge. I love the science of food, the art, the history, the culture. So naturally, I love Michael Pollan. I have read and re-read his books again and again whenever I need a reality check on why I stopped eating fast food or why it's important to buy local. His documentaries are on point and his books get down to the nitty gritty so obviouslyI could not wait to get the latest gem. This one's a little different from the others in that Michael is now the cook and is exploring the interaction between the cook, the food and the fed. I will now have to split my time between "Cooked" and the terribly addictive "The Paris Wife" but I'm okay with these types of dilemmas. Also it's "cheat day Thursday" that meyer lemon tart made up for all the time this week I wanted chipotle and fought the urge.