Make your mark

I've got way too much caffeine in my system so I went to work slimming down my FB audience and whilst doing that I decided I'd take a look back at all of my FB activity from during wedding planning and man did it bring back SO MANY memories.  What an exciting time that was and it felt like forever but going back and being able to read it and see what I was thinking and feeling and all the pictures I posted made me so happy (so if anyone got any likes on comments they left a year ago...hi.).  Then I decided to go back and look at just the interactions between me and Dan and it took me to a flirty little sarcastic back and forth that neither of us remember having.  We sat together and read messages and comments and little inside jokes we'd forgotten about and it just reminded us how far our little love has come.  I've kept a journal since Dan and I started dating and when we'd do something or say something fun I'd put it in the journal with a little drawing accompanying it.  Sometimes, because he was away during our engagement, I'd write letters in it to him letting him know how much I hated being apart but that it would all be worth it.  I gave it to him on our wedding day, only half full and now as things still come up I add to it.  He'll get to read it again on our 1 year and then give it back again.  So much happens in our lives, write as much as you can.

His, Mine and Ours

With all the big changes coming in our lives we've been having alot more heart-to-heart talks.  We've always been open with each other about what we want and expect but I'm a visual learner and writing things down really helps me to burn them into my brain and Dan is the type that needs to be able to refer back to something physical.

His list, mine and ours
(personalized notes courtesy of Cade)

On our walk this morning we were discussing what is and isn't important, what's worth stressing over and what's not? And while we had some disagreements the core was pretty much the same.  Throughout our relationship we've realized we both put the other first and our own needs second.  While this is a wonderful way to live, only resentment will grow from not fulfilling your own goals for the sake of the other person and we're both very aware that if you can't be happy with yourself you'll never be happy with someone else.  So we decided the best way to be each others cheerleader is to know what the other wants and to work as a team to get there.

I got the idea from my personal guru Jenna during my wedding planning when I was getting overwhelmed beyond belief.  She told me to make a list of the top 10 things that are most important.  If something is stressing me out and it's not on that list, let it go.

With that in mind we made a plan that we'd go home, make some tea, sit on the balcony and make a list of 10 things we each want to accomplish in our lives for ourselves.  We did this in silence and when we were done we exchanged, discussed, got teary eyed, laughed and then went and wrote 10 things we want to accomplish as a couple.  We were both surprised in the end how hard it was to think of 10 things you REALLY want.  Like I can list 10 things I'd definitely want right now (a six figure income, years worth of PTO, a vitamix, carrie bradshaw's shoe closet,...) but we went into this with the mindset that we are 100 years old, on our deathbed looking back. What are we proud of? What do we regret? Our personal lists had a few common points so we fine-tuned them and put them on the joint list along with things neither one of us really realized were so important.

The plan now is to try our hardest to keep our goals in mind and to let the little things just be little things.  I put the lists up and if one of us is ever down the other will be there with the friendly reminder that if it's not on the list, it's not worth worrying about.

Today's drink selection was our wedding tea from pottery barn brewed with some extra rose & honey.

The Perks of Marrying a Wallflower

I am not a very social person.  I do not have friends all over the place, I don't organize events, coordinate get-togethers and I am bad at making decisions when it comes to what to do on Friday nights and weekends.  I'm always torn between what I want to do and what I feel like I should be doing.  Enter: Dan.  I married a very passive man, vvvveerrryyyy passive, I'd even go as far to say that he is stoic.  He will do anything or go anywhere and be content.  He will not so much as whisper a complaint.  If he knows the people around him are enjoying themselves then he is too.  That's why I love the little lamb.  This weekend I had plans to go to LA and try a few restaurants checkout the nightlife a little but as the weekend approached all I wanted to do was be as lazy, cheap and self-indulgent as possible.  But feeling like I didn't want to waste Dan's weekend I gave him my "I'm down for whatever, Babe" speech and prayed.  The results gave life to a perfect weekend.  Consider this me being bragadocious but this man is perfect to/for me.

He suggested we head to the beach

Not because he wanted to, but because he remembered me mentioning earlier in the week how I wished I had time to lay out.  And as I sprawled out bikini-clad with my book and a smile beaming he was cuddled close to me on our beach blanket in a hoodie, basketball shorts and a giant sun hat;

Instead of going to Starbucks we stayed home and concocted a new iced tea and sat on our patio and drank it together listening to music and subtly flexing for the camera 

lemon-ginger-mint tea with lime, oh yes

At 8:00 I realized I didn't have a few  (unnecessary) kitchen gadgets that I left at my parents house. He looked up the nearest Sur la Table and ran through the mall with me watching all the doors close around us as we passed like a bad movie, even though the whole time he felt I could find the same tools cheaper at an auto-parts store.  After running halfway through the place I was ready to give up seeing no sign of the store and all of the other shops had already closed but he grabbed me by the hand and kept running and sure enough it was the only store still open.

Afterwards we went for a stroll under these beauties

Holding hands wandering through Costco he saw me lingering over one book longer than usual and saw the word "Paris" on it which he knows is a trigger word of mine.  "did you want to read that book?' "yes.."  "mkay,  I buy for you." and snatches it out of my hands and stows it under his arm and proceeds to the checkout line.

A few pictures from our San Diego adventure

We were trying to go to this highly reviewed over-priced bistro but we just so happened to get there an hour before they were open and by then I was too hungry to wait so he found this little deli and we went to the park across the street and had a little picnic

And played on the statues

And fed lettuce to a squirrel 

And this was after we watched a couple take engagement pictures next to a couple taking wedding pictures next to a couple taking quinceañera pictures, which we obviously mocked and re-enacted like the mature adults that we are and he looked down at me and said, "I'm so glad I married you, it's so much fun just you and me."  I had to document it. 

Room for Two

Best part of my new desk setup is the cute guy who comes and sits next to me. Takes me back to our college days *sigh*